This is from the girls 3.5 pictures
I have struggled with writing this post several times before and always decided that it wasn't the right thing to do. I was going to be the bigger person and figured that some of the mean comments I got were just from stupid people and that I some how I had almost asked for them having a public blog. I have thought about going private but have several older family members who read that may or may not be able to figure out the private thing. But enough is enough, and this mama has had ENOUGH. I thought I would just repost the two comments I have gotten lately (have gotten SEVERAL just like this in the past) and address them in the open. Since I have so many (figuring its actually really just one or two people who aren't brave enough to post an actual link to their blog) people that are so concerned with the physical appearance and the differences between my children.
Comment One
I visited your blog a few weeks ago and there are a thing that i don't understand. Why one of your twins (Kinley, i think) have more thin face, her face is more thin too, is more high, more pretty, and have more beautiful smile than the other twin. The weight and height is understandable. But the face? :s
It's so strange o_O
It's so strange o_O
THIS IS COPIED AND PASTED FROM THE COMMENTS. IT IS EXACTLY WHAT THIS COMMENTER WROTE.
Well Sandra, let me clear a few things up for you that you don't understand. "why does one of your twins (Kinley, I think) have more thin face, her face is more thin too..." Well I believe one of my twins has a more thin face because she has a more thin face than her sister. She isn't Madelyn and they aren't even identical twins. But even in identical twins the weight in their face may be different at any given time. Im sorry that their faces aren't exactly the same for you. Since they are fraternal twins their DNA is like normal siblings, is your face the exact same size as your siblings?
"is more high, more pretty, and have more beautiful smile than the other twin." I don't even know what to say here. I don't agree with ANY OF THIS question/statement. They are babies and who are you to judge them.
"The Weight and height is understandable. But the face." This doesn't make sense how is it ok for their weight to be different but not show it in their face? Actually my twins are the EXACT same weight. Yes, Kinley is taller than Madelyn so yes sometimes she looks thinner. Gosh how dare they be different? Both girls weigh about 24 or so pounds. They are underweight for their age and barely on the chart for height. They are small petite girls. BOTH OF THEM.
Sandra, I don't understand a few things. Why does it matter to you why my twins look different? We get asked all the time if they are identical, even though their faces are different sizes. Why do you feel the need to comment that one is prettier than the other? I personally don't share your opinion. I know both of our girls are beautiful and not that this matters but we get told how pretty they both are by strangers all the time.
COMMENT TWO
I think Kinlee looks like her mom, and has her mom's gummy smile. Also, she may have a shunt in her head for the hydrocephalus, that could be why her forehead and head is so much larger than other girl. So yeah, a medical condition is nothing to make fun of. Either way, they both are adorable girls and very much loved by their parents
ok, so this comment is almost like the person is defending my girls...SORT OF. "I think Kinlee looks like her mom, and has her mom's gummy smile." So not sure who this person is talking about about because it SEEMS like she is talking about a different child than the previous comment but whatever. Yes, both girls look like me and their Dad. At any given time I can see both of us in them...funny how that works. ;) Yep sorry for the girls they did get my gummy smile...sorry you can't pick and choose what DNA gets passed on. Hey if that is the only bad thing that happens to them I think they will be ok, I have had to deal with a gummy smile all my life and I have managed somehow...
"Also, she may have a shunt in her head for the hydrocephalus, that could be why her forehead and head is so much larger than other girl. So yeah, a medical condition is nothing to make fun of."
ok, here is where this comment is so strange. While I agree that a medical condition is NOTHING to make fun of...neither of my children have hydrocephalus nor a shunt. Also just in case you are so worried about them having this medical condition my cousin is a Neurologist and pretty sure he would have said something. I could get a statement if you would like ;) Pretty sure if they did I would post it on THEIR blog. As for one of their foreheads being larger than the other...it just is larger. Again siblings don't all look EXACTLY alike and neither do my children. I believe with all my heart that NO ONE would ever say anything about large foreheads or different size faces to my girls if they weren't twins. always having someone the same age right beside them at all times. No one says to a mother of two different aged children..."wow, your 9 year olds head was SOO much larger than their sisters when they were their age" I constantly worry about having girls that are similar getting compared...thanks for bringing this fear to life while they are so young. That's awesome!
"Either way, they both are adorable girls and very much loved by their parents"
Not that I need your approval but yes both girls are adorable and VERY MUCH LOVED by their parents...and others.
Ok, rant over. If you can't say anything nice, please not say anything at all.
Also I will be erasing this post before my girls are able to read. I wouldn't want them to read any of these comments. This blog was continued to be a baby book for them.
37 comments:
Well said!
I've been reading your blog for quite sometime, and I've never commented. But I just can't help myself!
Didn't our parents teach us "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all?"
I'm shocked at this rudeness!
Carry on and continue to be a "Momma Bear" for your girls. They deserve the moon! :)
Your girls are just precious and BEAUTIFUL! I am thinking it's jealousy bringing out the worst in those who had negative comments!
Liz, your girls are absolutely beautiful. Let me just address this first: They are how they are and who they are because the Lord perfectly formed them to be exactly the way he wanted them to be. I love that they don't look completely alike. Not only do they have their own individual personalities, but they have their own individual looks. Like you said, they're not identical. They weren't intended to be.
It's funny, but I don't see any of the things these people commented on. I see two SUPER cute girls with beautiful smiles, beautiful eyes, and if they turn out to be anything like their Mama, their hearts will be beautiful, too.
(Also, I think that the first commenter is either not a native English speaker or "not all there" in the area of mental capacity. You can kind of tell from the way they wrote the comment.)
Love you, girl!
This is just so sad. I'm not sure if I've ever left a comment but after reading this post I just had to! BOTH of your girls are absolutely Gorgeous! Just by reading your blog I can tell you and your husband are wonderful parents. Love the picture.
arHi Liz! I have been following your blog for awhile but never commented. I also blog about my little boys and can't even imagine reading comments like the ones you spoke about in this post. Who do people think they are??? Honestly, I"m embarrassed for them and their rudeness! Your twins are beautiful and you are a wonderful mother for providing the best for them! I'm sorry you had to even address this matter, but I sure hope you feel better!!! I'm not sure I would have been as nice :)
Wow. What assholes. Please delete this comment before your girls can read too. ;)
First you give your girls candy and kool-aid during potty training and THEN you have the audacity to allow them to look different?! The nerve!
I know comments like those hurt, but YOU know and we all know what an amazing mother you are to those babies. It DOES feel better to get it all out though. :)
Love you, girl! We SERIOUSLY need to get together soon!
Amen sister, (I have forever been a lurker)
Gad you're a strong, awesome momma bear!
I have been following your blog for awhile but have never commented, but felt the need to let you know that your girls are absolutely beautiful.
I, too, have fraternal twin girls (they turned two in April) and they are very different as well. I hate that they are constantly getting compared, whether physical features, milestones, ect. I fear that the older they get, the more they will be compared and I am sad because of that.
You are doing a great job and you put it very well in this post.
Well I have been a lurker on here for a long time (no idea how long, I stumbled upon you blog one day from The Steece's blog list)
I do have to say, however, that the ignorance of those people is astounding. Why they feel the need to pick on two young children I will never understand. And while they may be twins, how someone cannot work out that they are individuals in their own right I cannot comprehend - twins, yes, clones - NO!
Your two girls are absolutely beautiful (and I love their outfit for their 3.5 picture, so adorable!)
I do confess that I do still occasionally have trouble working out who is who *cue scrolling to previous posts to check I have it right* I think I have it pretty much sussed though now!
I agree with Jennifer (above i think?) if your girls take after you they will be blessed with both beauty and strength of character.
say what you want to say about us mamas, but when you start attacking the physical attributes of CHILDREN...
you are a SICK, SICK individual who apparently gets off on hurting others. how sad. and although i absolutely detest what you are doing, i pray for that sick heart of yours out of pure pity.
lizzie poo- you KNOW those girlie girls are so dern beautiful. BOTH of them. and i just LOVE their different personalities and the physical characteristics that set them apart from each other.
promise me from here on out, you will quickly scan to the bottom, tell if its a bad comment and DELETE! its the only way these evil words will not stay in your head. i STILL do this and it saves me about 24 hrs of a stomach ache/anger/depression.
love you guys so much. you are family to us.
suz
Your girls are BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Can't believe anyone would ever say anything different, but that's why they hide behind a fake screename!
Every time I see a picture with your little girls in it on Suz's blog, I think "holy cow those girls are gorgeous". seriously. every time. They are beautiful and always smiling - just like the pictures I have seen of their mama!
Don't let haters steal your beautiful smile. People are so weird and jealous.
Your family is beautiful!!! How dare these people attack you and your adorable kiddos! Your post was a lot nicer than I would have been!!
I feel like those trolls took away from the beauty and sentiment of the post - mainly our family's decision to adopt and Liz's amazing experience as an adopted child. No encouragement, no supportive words, nada. Regardless we love our nieces and think they are beautiful. Inside AND out. And know that they'll love the heck out of a new cousin.
Andrea
I love you Lizzie and your beautiful girls! Don't let the haters bring you down. They are sick, pathetic, and have NOTHING better to do. They aren't worth it. Listen to Suz and "scan." She nailed it and has given me the same advice for years. 'F em!
xoxo
Gen
ps: delete this one too.. before you girls can read! ;)
Your girls are absolutely gorgeous, Liz! And those outfits? Adorable! Love the lace and the necklaces! So cute!
Big Hugs!
I enjoy your blog and the amazing pics of your BEAUTIFUL girls. Thanks for sharing with us all.
I never comment but just had to on this. Wow there are some horrible people in this world!
I think both of your girls are beautiful and I enjoy reading your blog, continue what you are doing and ignore all those hateful people.
Vanessa B
Hi Liz,
I have been reading your blog for awhile now, I've never commented before, but with some of the things that people have said to you I just wanted you to know that I think Madelyn and Kinley are gorgeous! I love how as much as they do look alike, they both have so many things that are uniquely beautiful about each of them. I'm sorry that you had to read comments like that. I wish you and your family the best!
Lauren
kymadThe comments referenced in your post are ignorant, mean spirited and constitute bullying behavior. I hope these two do not have children listening to this type disrespectful behavior. As a teacher, my heart breaks when I hear unkind things being spoken by my students to one another. Where are they learning this?
ADULTS--children listen to our words and watch are behavior!
Your children are beautiful! I appreciate the reminder to be kinder to one another. Thank you!
i am a long time follower but rarely comment but i had to on this one!as a fellow mom of twin girls this makes me sick to my stomach! my girls are the same age as my twin girls. mine are identical and guess what one STILL has a "skinnier" face than the other. i love what you wrote about if they weren't twins you wouldn't expect them to look the same so don't just assume that because they are twin that they are going to be 100% the same! Your girls are absolutely gorgeous and i LOVE looking at your blog and watching them grow!
Okay! Wow. First I want to say, Liz both of your girls are precious, stunning, and sweet. Never let anyone tell you different. I also would love to add that they do have your smile AND thats a good thing because it is a beautiful smile! One of my favorite things about you :) I am so sorry you have to deal with this and wish I could give you a big hug right now (who decided it was a good idea to move five hours away). Another thing I would like to add is that while I love not having to deal with this stuff on my private blog it's not your fault that people are being horrible. You still have the right to post what you want and not have to worry about people being monsters that make fun of sweet little girls! Good for you standing up for your girlies! I do have to disagree that you don't have to deal with this if you don't have two the same age. I hear daily how much "prettier" "fairer skinned" "cuter" "smarter" "more difficult" R is than L. I was also compared my entire life against my sister. She was the "pretty" one and I was the "smart" one. It left some deep scars for both of us...but those comparisons weren't made by random strangers. They were fostered and spoken by our mother and close family. That experience has taught me as a mother to do exactly what you just did. Correct people and let your girls hear the responses when you get those comments in public. People often will say (Just happened the other night in church) "you had it easy with L(oh did I? I feel like I have parented her just as much as R) now get prepared for the real parenting with R." I responded "actually they are both very sweet. I am blessed with TWO very sweet and Godly girls. It is not really fair to compare the two because you weren't there when L was two and even if you were that was 9 years ago and sometimes I even forget she threw fits just like any other two year old. She is very sweet and her little sister is blessed to be taught patience and love from an amazing big sister." It was awkward and the woman had to back peddle "oh thats not what I meant!" When I got in the car Lily asked why I had said that and I told her about me and my sister. It was an awesome learning experience and conversation inspirer. Another thing that helps me not take it personally is to consider the source. Some people have a hidden agenda or deep need to put others down. Anything that comes out of those types of people's mouths I just discard from my "it matters" bank. Anyway. I love you and hope that helps! Keep fighting for them and I know with a Mommy like you they will grow up to disprove all the stereotypes people heap on them!
Wow!!!! WTH is wrong with people?! I found your blog through reading Suz's blog... and I've followed your little ladies growing up. I have two little girls as well (1 older, 1 younger than your girls) and I love seeing what your girls are up to.
I never noticed any of these type of responses but that is totally unacceptable and good for you for calling those jerks out.
Wishing you & your beautiful little ladies a wonderful end to the summer!
I found your blog through Steece's Pieces. Love seeing pics of K and M! I can tell they are beautiful inside and out. :) Words can hurt our hearts but hold onto these kind ones!
Liz, I am so sorry there are people in this world so deprived in their own lives they have to be consumed with yours. I also get things like this w/ the K's milestones not happening the same day & I know it tugs on the heart! I've said time and time again... Your girls are BEAUTIFUL just like their mama! Keep your chin up and since you're going to erase this I will go ahead and get it off my chest. Inconsiderate, immature & mindless bastards!!!
I stumbled across your blog from the Steece blog and I too have never commented, but WOW!! The first time I saw your girls on Suz's blog i thought "those girls are SO cute" that is what brought me to your blog. How precious are those girls!! As far as the "gummy smile" goes..I don't even get that comment.It is a smile..grateful that you are raising happy children. You may feel you had to "deal with a gummy smile your whole life" or "if that is the only bad thing to pass on" NOT AT ALL..they are happy like their mama. BLESSING!!!!
You have two beautiful girls with individual looks and personalities that make them the girls they are. I am sorry that people feel the need to attack you via your children! I hope that people get that point that you are not dealing with rude comments about your children and will stop. I love reading your blog and seeing your amazing pics of the cool things you guys do..i have boy girl twins and you are an inspiration to me!
Not necessary that people insult me. At no time have I insulted your twins, and didn't want to offend anyone. Just I said a question.
The girls are very pretty, and only I seems strange that if in theory are monozygotic twins, they look very different.
I have been treated like sick person and more things, the offended it's me.
OMG. This is just ridiculous.
Your twins are just BEAUTIFUL!
In my blog had a boy who insulted to my little son in a comment too! Said that my son's ears are ugly and his nose is strange. Of course,I had to remove that ridiculous and meaningless comment.
I honestly don't listen to that kind of people. they haven't no life and dedicate themselves to look for the appearance of innocents children.
Dayoung
Wow! Excellent reply to the ignorant comments. Sandra must have never had children, siblings, or been out in the world. Even identical twins have slight differences...somewhere! God makes us all unique! The other commenter has obviously never taken the time to read your blog. What low, shallow people to attack children. I have been a silent reader since your pregnancy, and am quite fond of their birthday as it's my oldest son's as well. Your girls are gorgeous and you can just see their sweetness shining through in their pics!
I can't understand for the life of me what is going on with this world! Where do people come up with this stuff? Do they sit around and surf blogs and pick one out to post stupid, insensitive comments too? Never ever in my dreams would I even think to write or say the things they do to you about your family. I apologive for them all. I know you know this already and don't need anyones opinions but you have a beautiful family and please NEVER let anyone make you feel otherwise.
Delete those comments - it's your right as a momma bear! Protect your girls :) Those posters are just trolls. Your girs are adorable. I'm going anon for this so they don't track me down and bug me too!
Yes, your girls are BEAUTIFUL (understatement!!)... but beauty isn't just skin deep! I'm one of the lucky ones that knows M&K personally and they're the sweetest, most thoughtful little girls! They're very special to me (and to my girls) and anyone that would say hateful things just doesn't deserve to visit your blog! It's sad that they don't have anything better to do than to say ridiculous things to an undeserving family! We MISS y'all so much!!
I love reading your blog and seeing your beautiful girls grow up.I hope all the support you have received on here shows you that the majority of your readers don't judge, but just enjoy :) Thank you for sharing your beautiful girls with us.
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